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Glass is Fun but Fishin’ is Great

I never had to pay for it in my life

and I’m not gonna’ start now [PERIOD]

Who? Me? Complaining about one of the so called “Fishing Guides” on the TFF (

Why would you ever pay for a Fishing Guide?

I cannot be more brief about this matter. I’m fairly sure I’m not the only one feeling like this. There is no doubt in my mind that he may have done it to you too, if you hired a “Fishing Guide” on Lake Tawakoni and ended up with his phone number (214-415-0166).

I learnt fishin’ in 1958, to drive in ’64, my trade of cutting glass in ’72 and then my 1st boat in ’73.  Just sayin’, I know about the cost of owning boats and what it cost doing business.  I always catch fish, most of the time.  I may have to stay on the water a couple of days to catch all I want,

but I ALWAYS catch something.




Paying for a “fishing guide” to take me fishing is like paying for a doctor to take care of a snake bite. And we all know you don’t need no doctor for a little snake bite,hadenough

just cut a bunch of x’s above the bite and suck that poison out yourself (and remember to spit).  I know we’ve all been there a few times.

{Picture not available of sucking blood.}

Have you ever stopped to think…then forgot to start again?

I must of done that when I went to hire a “Professional Fishing Guide” but I did and here’s what happened.

FYI: I surfed into TFF bout a year ago and quickly came to respect a lot of folks on there for sharing their wealth of fishing knowledge…even those crazy regular comedians in OT (off topic) were well worth reading (at times)..

I asked a few questions about who would ever hire a guide to fish and due to the nature of my inquiry on a fishin’ forum, most of the guys on the forum said getting a “guide” would be what I need to do and probably the best thing I would ever do for a good fishing trip. I asked “WHO on Twok” for Hybrids/Stripers and they said call so and so, so, I gave him a call.

I figured this is where the scam starts, if it didn’t start with TFF’s wealth of advise.  I was like a professional glazier chasing down the folks selling plastic film to put on glass to make it “unbreakable”.  I’m thinking I am going to get on the “guides” boat and end up teaching him what I know.

Yea, this “so called guide” called me back promptly and told me his price (she-wawa).  Right off I could smell the trick. He threw a low-ball price out there to get me in his boat and then he’s gonna’ crank up the add-ons for bait and probably end up charging me by the filet weight or charing me by the length of the line we use.

Yet, I’m gonna’ commit cause I was told to do so from some folks that I respected. Besides that, his price was just about what it cost me to take my boat out for a weekend – so not much loss there out of my pocket.

In fact, my buddy for 30 years normally goes out with me when I go fishin’, so I called him and he said he’d split that cost or pay for all of it himself.  Yes sir, I let him pay for ALL OF IT himself cause I didn’t want to pay anything to a “Guide” AND I didn’t really want to tell anyone I paid someone to take me to go fishin’. Pride you know, it is well established.

Ok, my friend and I showed up at 6:30 am like we were told and figured we would be sitting there in the waiting room or waiting there in the sitting room for our “expert fishing guide” to show up.

Well, this “Young Guide” was already out in the boat in the water waiting for us to show. I’m glad he came to find us out in my truck in the parking lot.

When I first saw him I thought he was young enough to be my son; how is he going to know more about fishing than I do.  I also might have to say right here that I sure liked his boat (that’s one GOOD thing).MattsLittleBoat

It impressed my friend and I very much and I wondered how a young man could afford a boat like this.

So the scam begins: 6:35 am

We were not far enough out in the water that I couldn’t hear them talking at the ramp we just left about 60 yards back.  As we cleared that outside ramp from Holiday, the “guide” hands us a pole each and said cast them off the left side of the boat about 20 or 25 feet. I thought Oh BOY, does this kid think he’s Jesus with those kind of directions.  This is going to be easy money for “The Guide” if we play with these sandies all day.  I could have been bank fishing this spot. As you can tell, I had no opinion about our “guide”.

BAM! Line’s got tight

and I thought my pole was gonna’ be yanked outta’ my hand. We caught four good size hybrids out of six cast.  I was thinking good start or is the trip over? The moment we cast maybe three times with no hits, the “guide” moved on to another spot.

Fact is, this next spot ain’t bank fishing but it is my biggest problem on this paid trip.  All “this guide” did was take us to within 50 feet where we have been fishing for years.  I thought I was paying for a Special Honey Hole that would be located through a secret passage at the end of some creek or through a portal from behind some tree…but the very same fishin’ hole I’ve been on for years is where he “guides” me—and I PAID HIM TO DO IT…Geezas! My friend and I were there two days earlier and we knew…well, we just looked at each other like WTH…but before we said anything “the guide” says “They are here” (as he points to our rods for our immediate attention) and our lines popped off the down riggers and got tight with some of the biggest fish I’d seen on Twok.


I had only caught one big striper in Twok all my life, and we had already pulled in four in the first hour.

I’ve caught lots of hybrids but I’ve only seen pictures of the fish this size.fairstriper

We were constantly catching them as if “Our Guide” raised them up and taught them to coma-cozy.  Had to be a trick; maybe he baits the area.

Everyone of them keepers and no sandies. I’m not sure any were under 6 lbs.

Who the he77 is “This Guide”?whoisthisfishinguide

OK, I may of zoned out a bit catchin’ one fish after another, all this trip will end up being a lie (who is gonna’ believe me?).

I’m gonna’ remember this trip to tell to my grand children and my great grand children some day…keepers…hawgs….my old honey hole…and many over 7 lbs.  If I didn’t have the pictures, I probably would not believe this myself.

I’ll confess, my friend and I have always fished with live chad and never caught the big ones on lures,

less well on those giant Kahuna slabs from Moe’s.MoesKahunas

Felt like we fished about 20 minutes, but “This Guide” said we had our limit now.

It’s not even 9:30am and we limited out.

I thought “Our Guide” was going to take us in to the dock.  Day over, wasn’t bad but not what I thought paying to fish would be like.  Where’s the beer?

Alright, now we have our limit and I’m thinking the guide made a lot a money for a few hours of fishing.  I don’t know if the biting slowed down or all those boats following us caused a problem, but after no fish on the line for 15 minutes “Our Guide” says, “let’s go try some live bait”.

I’m good to go, but I see how this is going now. We’ll be an hour catching chad and he’ll be taking us back shortly after….WOW, he caught all the bait he wanted on the first net cast.  Dang, I’m starting to feel a little different about “Our Kid Fishing Guide”.

It was almost 20 minutes from the time we left that hole, caught bait, and had our lines back in the water with live bait on the hooks.

Bam!!! 4 or 5″ live bait was gettin’ eaten and it all at once tightened my line and I thought it was gonna’ break my pole.  I wasn’t sure if I was goin’ to pull this one in or it was gonna’ pull me in.anothern

Daminit’, we already had our limit and here comes the biggest one of the day on my line.  This hawg was 10 1/2 lbs if it was bigger than a nickel and my “Great Guide” has all ready put our limit in the box and I thought my trophy was going to be a release.

Thank the Good Lord, “Our Expert Guide” saved a place in the ice for just this kind of Moby Dick and he took my picture so I have proof of gettin’ the biggun’ in Twok.


Now here’s another problem I had…I had to guess at the weight of each fish. You’d think a “professional guide” would have a set of scales out to see what these huge fish were weighing. They were really hard for me to weigh by holding it in my hand cause every time I pulled one out of the water and on the boat, our “TOP KNOTCH GUIDE” snatched the fish off the deck, took the fish off the hook, threw the fish in the chest and rebaited my hook in what looked to be one motion. I didn’t get a chance to feel how heavy any fish was but I didn’t get much of a chance to complain cause I had another fish on line.mattworking

I’m starting to think that “THIS DYNOMITE GUIDE” was herding these lunkers somehow or they were staked out, but I couldn’t keep track of what he was doing cause I had anothern on the line.

And while I’m talking about fish on the line, here I am paying someone a few bucks to “guide” me on my own HOME LAKE, and our “fish crazy guide” sits down for a moment up in front and STARTED TO FISH.

DANG, sign me up. I was paying for my friend to come out and fish, but I didn’t know I was gonna’ be paying “the guide” to fish. And he was using different bait. We had been catching fish for an hour on live chad, and the first moment I was NOT pulling one in, I looked up and see him FISHING…with a lure I’d never seen before.

Well, he caught one I thought was going to pull him in the drink and he must have seen me see him fishing cause he gave me his pole real fast like and told me to pull that fish in while he set us up somethin’.  I think he went over and hooked up my friend on a lure too, but I was too busy pulling in one of the biggest fish I have ever pulled into my boat -UH- into any boat.

I thought “THIS GUIDE” was going to take us in back now for sure…wrong. I was in awe that we didn’t stop fishing.  We must of caught another 30 fish in what felt like an hour or less.  Except for my age I had no excuse; BUT my arms were kinda’ gettin’ real tired.

I looked over at my buddy and he said we might otta’ go if we are going to get all those fish cleaned (as he was rubbing his arms also). I agreed but our “Friend the Guide” was talkin’ on the phone and when he hung up he said we otta’ try one more place he thinks the big ones are bitting at.  I wanted to say that if they were any bigger, they can stay in the water unless he is gonna’ hook up an electric reel.  I didn’t say anything cause I was looking for the boat ride across the lake to be a moment of rest.

A five minute trip somewhere else, hardly had time to take a drink, my friend caught another monster off down riggers and he could hardly get it in. While I was trying to take a break watching him pull in that monster, I accidentally hit the release and dropped my lure back in and nailed anothern’ before it hit bottom, I thought this one might snap my wrist.

So then, this “Fish Catching Guide” threw his line in and got it on tight. I forgot about my arms and I couldn’t stop laughing with joy and amazement; and we ended up staying on that hot spot for another hour, constantly pullin’ anothern in on every cast.

You should have seen all the boats that were followin’ us. It’s funny to see how a boat 15 feet from our bow can’t get a bite while we can’t get no rest. I think I’ve been in that other boat most of my life compared to the fishing trip we were on now…


OK, so my rant is about paying “a Guide” to go fishing.  Yea, we might have caught bigger fish in a shorter amount of time than we ever have.  Yea, I learned a dozen things that this “kid guide” taught us 60 year old tarts (without him knowin’ it).

OK, but I didn’t get to ask him all the questions I wanted.  Nor did I get answers for things I forgot to ask. I wanted to ask about the Humminbird Sonor I had just purchased that was just like his and I didn’t get to ask him about the time of year to fish where and everything else I thought he might have known.

I admit, except for the few moments he sat down and fished up front, I have to say he was the hardest workin’ person I have ever seen on a fishin’ boat.


Yes, I knew he was only fishing to find out what they might be biting so he could move us around to give us different gear to catch more fish (but he was just too good of a guide and I just have to complain being an old man).  And yea, I guess you might say catching our limits and having pulled in the biggest fish ever would have made a good fishin’ trip for most folks…

I just didn’t like the thought of having to come home braggin’ bout the fish we caught and having to admit we paid for it;

and you dang well KNOW what I mean.

I guess my ranting has to end somewhere. You know what our “Perfect Guide” did when we got back to the dock???

He laid all the fish out on deck and took a bunch of pictures of us with them…then he cleaned all the fish…and then, after he found out our eatin’ habits, he bagged all the fish in cooking portions for my friend and myself – just the way my wife likes them…Mattcleaningfish

but he cleaned them with an electric knife and he didn’t have to show off by cleaning the fish with his eyes closed.

Now, If you are wondering what my complaint is or what I’m ranting about.

EASY, fishing ain’t the same anymore. I’VE BEEN SPOILED.

If I go out and do not catch them like I did with Matt, then I’m out there thinking about Matt instead of fishing.  My wife is suggesting I sell my boat and put the money in a fund. Then, every time I feel like fishin’, I should just call Matt.

And Matt, if your wife ever makes you stop playing around out there on the lake fishin’ all the time and she wants you to go get a real job, remember I’ve had a glass business for 44 years.

I’ll be glad to teach you all I can about cutting and installing glass, using a glass cutter the right way, how to install windows and how to do window glass replacements.  I’ll trade you out even, your boat for the lessons in running a glass business so you can say you have a regular steady job…just sayin’…she might want you back on a 8 to 5 Mon thru Fri…she might!

Will I ever pay for it again? I’m not tellin’ anyone if I do … I’ll probably have to phase it like “Man, I went fishing the other day with a buddy and we caught …. yada yada…this big. And, you should of seen the ones that got away from the boats next to us, I think they all jumped in our boat!”

Matt, just because you are one “Phenomenal Fishing Guide” we don’t have to let them know.  My opinion, you could probably catch fish in a glass of water.  If you slipped and fell in a puddle, you’d probably stand up with fish in your pockets.

Nothing seems the same even if it is exactly alike. After all, we are BOTH fisherman.

Moral of this rant is:



God Speed and Stay Cool

Old Glazier

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